This is a non-investment post. Sharing an incident that happened in my life recently.
My wife and I were visiting my parents-in-law during the New Year. My parents-in-law are a classic rags-to-riches story of the Merdeka Generation. After graduation from NTU with an Accountancy degree, my father-in-law (FIL) started work as a property manager, earning a paltry income. It was after he headed to China to work for a Singapore conglomerate, that his income improved significantly. Over the decades, he managed to save a considerable sum of money. My mother-in-law (MIL) did not complete her secondary school education, but has a knack for savvy property investment. She took the saved money, invested in local real estate during the boom years and grew it multiple fold. At present, my parents-in-law are sitting on net assets worth over 3 million dollars.
After exchanging pleasantries, my MIL popped a question to my wife out of the blue: is she (my wife) willing to accommodate my FIL to live in our HDB flat?
Now, my wife and I know this is a hypothetical question. This scenario will never occur, unless my FIL is bedridden and my MIL passes away. My MIL had commented once that she cannot tolerate our 'stingy' lifestyle.
My wife is a millionaire herself, much richer than me. She has worked hard since graduation and saved every cent, never wasting it on frivolous stuff. My wife has a stubborn streak, and is defiant against spouting 'sweet words' that she does not mean in her heart. Even though filial piety dictates us to say "yes", we are well aware of the limited space in our HDB flat, and the inconveniences which will result in conflict. So my wife tersely replied my MIL with a flat "NO".
What came next was expected, typical of a family drama. My MIL responded with a barbed comment, telling my wife not to expect much from her share of the inheritance.
My wife and I have never dreamt of getting any inheritance from our parents. We firmly believe in self-reliance and striving for our own goals. There is satisfaction in exchanging honest effort for reward.
Being an outsider, I was not in a position to comment. So I pretended to be reading my book, seemingly not paying attention, even though I heard every word of the conversation.
A few days later, my wife and I discussed the matter. We agreed that our kids should NOT look forward to getting an inheritance from us. They should work hard for their own financial future.
All through these years, we have told our kids that we are an average middle-income family. Nothing in our daily habits betray any hint of our affluence. We always advocate prudence and frugality when making lifestyle decisions. Our kids have grown up in the HDB heartland eating hawker food, taking public transportation and wearing non-branded hand-me-downs. The sole exception is our annual family holiday overseas.
My concern is whether my kids will morph to be 'revenge spenders', who splurge every cent of their salary in their adulthood, as they recall a sense of 'deprivation' in their childhood. (I hope not!)
My wife and MIL are still on talking terms. But when inheritance is a veiled threat, the harmony in the family can become broken. Have you ever encountered a similar situation before?
My wife and I were visiting my parents-in-law during the New Year. My parents-in-law are a classic rags-to-riches story of the Merdeka Generation. After graduation from NTU with an Accountancy degree, my father-in-law (FIL) started work as a property manager, earning a paltry income. It was after he headed to China to work for a Singapore conglomerate, that his income improved significantly. Over the decades, he managed to save a considerable sum of money. My mother-in-law (MIL) did not complete her secondary school education, but has a knack for savvy property investment. She took the saved money, invested in local real estate during the boom years and grew it multiple fold. At present, my parents-in-law are sitting on net assets worth over 3 million dollars.
After exchanging pleasantries, my MIL popped a question to my wife out of the blue: is she (my wife) willing to accommodate my FIL to live in our HDB flat?
Now, my wife and I know this is a hypothetical question. This scenario will never occur, unless my FIL is bedridden and my MIL passes away. My MIL had commented once that she cannot tolerate our 'stingy' lifestyle.
My wife is a millionaire herself, much richer than me. She has worked hard since graduation and saved every cent, never wasting it on frivolous stuff. My wife has a stubborn streak, and is defiant against spouting 'sweet words' that she does not mean in her heart. Even though filial piety dictates us to say "yes", we are well aware of the limited space in our HDB flat, and the inconveniences which will result in conflict. So my wife tersely replied my MIL with a flat "NO".
What came next was expected, typical of a family drama. My MIL responded with a barbed comment, telling my wife not to expect much from her share of the inheritance.
My wife and I have never dreamt of getting any inheritance from our parents. We firmly believe in self-reliance and striving for our own goals. There is satisfaction in exchanging honest effort for reward.
Being an outsider, I was not in a position to comment. So I pretended to be reading my book, seemingly not paying attention, even though I heard every word of the conversation.
A few days later, my wife and I discussed the matter. We agreed that our kids should NOT look forward to getting an inheritance from us. They should work hard for their own financial future.
All through these years, we have told our kids that we are an average middle-income family. Nothing in our daily habits betray any hint of our affluence. We always advocate prudence and frugality when making lifestyle decisions. Our kids have grown up in the HDB heartland eating hawker food, taking public transportation and wearing non-branded hand-me-downs. The sole exception is our annual family holiday overseas.
My concern is whether my kids will morph to be 'revenge spenders', who splurge every cent of their salary in their adulthood, as they recall a sense of 'deprivation' in their childhood. (I hope not!)
My wife and MIL are still on talking terms. But when inheritance is a veiled threat, the harmony in the family can become broken. Have you ever encountered a similar situation before?
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