Saturday, April 23, 2022

Three Maxims to Share With My Children

Having spent half of my lifespan, I have gathered some precious lessons which I hope to ultimately pass on to my children. Some were gained from bitter experiences; others were illuminated in a moment of inspiration.

Here are three maxims that I want my children to remember:


If it is to be, it is up to me. William Johnsen

Singaporeans are notorious for their incessant complaints. You hear it all the time - the bus is so slow; the food is so expensive; the service is so lousy. It brings to mind the slang NATO (No Action, Talk Only).

This is an incredibly poisonous attitude, especially in the corporate world. While whining may provide temporary relief and seeming camaraderie among complainers, it drains a person of the willpower to act on the problem and change the situation.

Everytime I hear my kids make such a remark, I will remind them that complaining is useless. They should proactively find a solution. If it is beyond their control, they should look for someone who can make the improvement.

The above is a simple but powerful maxim by English Professor William Johnsen. It gels nicely with another Buddhism-inspired maxim that getting angry at an issue is useless, as fury will only hurt yourself, seldom others.


Life is unfair. That is why I have the opportunity to succeed where others failed.

Let's face it - life is inherently unfair. If life was fair, there wouldn't be a rich-poor divide today. Being born in Singapore is a stroke of good luck; being born in Ethiopia is not.

Yet it is precisely because Life does not grant the same favour to everyone, there is a fighting chance for you to be the winner. It may not be what you envisioned, but there will always be a niche where you can outshine others. And more often than not, being a grand master at a specific subject matter entitles you to greater renumeration compared to the average layperson.

My kids sometimes complain how the teacher picked their classmate for a role they had wanted. I would gently nudge them to think about their own strengths, and areas where they have an edge over their peers. Along the same vein, I would drill into them another life lesson - if they are not willing to put in their best effort, they should not start on the task at all, be it learning a new skill or a new subject. If my kids have decided to embark on the quest to mastery, then they must be disciplined to work their way to the top of the field. No half-heartedness here.


The difference between rich and poor is the number of choices in life. A poor man is limited by his options.

This maxim is deeply personal, as it is the basis that drives me to seek wealth. Being rich is not just about having lots of dough. It is about having a wide variety of options at one's disposal. From as simple as cleaning the toilet to as complex as fighting climate change, money can shape the outcome. There is the oft-quoted adage that money is not a panacea for everything. However, while money cannot solve every problem, it is extremely effective in the ways that it can.

Here is a simple example: An average income family may choose to eat mostly at home or at hawker centres due to a tight budget. On the other hand, a well off family can choose to eat either at home, at hawker centres or in posh restaurants without much impact to their finance. The availability of more choices can make life a tad more enjoyable, even though more choices don't necessarily guarantee greater happiness.

My kids are aware that their material choices are influenced by money. Each of them has a POSB Smart Buddy watch that limits the amount they can spend daily. This forces them to plan their consumption in advance. My kids play the Monopoly game frequently, where they learn getting bankrupt (out of money) loses the game. They also learn cashflow, in which money is needed to pay for green houses and red hotels, but eventually they regain it through rent. They had come across the concept of stocks and bonds in another game (Wongamania), but the topic is over their heads for now.


I hope the above maxims will serve my children well as they grow up and lead their lives as desired. Do you have any life lesson you would like to share with your children? Let me know in the comments below.




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